When should I send thank you notes for wedding gifts and what should I write?

It is without question that you MUST, MUST, MUST send a handwritten thank you note for every wedding (engagement, shower, etc.) gift that you receive. Guests want to know that their gifts (that they spent their hard-earned money on AND precious time picking out) were received and appreciated.

If the gift is received BEFORE the wedding, it is recommended that a thank you note be sent within the two weeks of receipt. If the gift is received AFTER the wedding, you have a little more leeway (due to honeymoon, etc.). This means you have about a month to send out your thank you notes for gifts received at or after the wedding, and about three months before Emily Post comes banging down your door.

In the writing of thank you notes it is important to mention the gift that was received. (“Thank you for the illy Espresso maker.”) Your note should include a line or two about using the product and how excited you are to do so. (“We are so excited to wake up in the morning and have the luxury of espressos and lattes in our very own home! We will definitely need to host a brunch very soon so we can show off our barista skills.”) Another line or two to personalize the note is always recommended. (If you receive the gift before the wedding and the sender is attending: “We cannot wait to share our special day with you. It means so much to have you take part in this momentous time in our lives.”)

If the gift was money, your note should open thanking them for their “generous gift” (never mention the dollar amount). The follow-up sentence could mention how you plan on using the money. (“This will really help get us on our feet and ready to start our lives together.”) Finally, you should always add another line or two to personalize the note (If you receive the gift before the wedding and the sender is unable to attend: “We are sorry you are unable to be with us to celebrate on our special day. We will be thinking of you and look forward to sharing many more happy occasions together in the future.”)