What should I say in my toast to the happy couple?

The toasts at the wedding are traditionally reserved for the best man and the parents of the bride and/or groom. So if you do not fall into these categories, then you will want to prepare your toast to the happy couple for the rehearsal dinner. As for the maid of honor, while traditionally she did not speak at the actual wedding it is occurring more so these days. If that is you, check with the bride-to-be so you can be prepared for the night before if necessary. Some SSM guidelines for the toast:

(1) Keep it short and sweet… that is why they are called toasts, not speeches. No one likes to be held captive in a lecture on love and life especially when they are on their third martini.

(2) Know your strengths… Not everyone is funny, and that’s okay. Your toast to the happy couple doesn’t need to be structured as a stand-up comedy act; just keep it charming and sentimental. Especially don’t fish for jokes by taking jabs at the bride or groom - “I am so glad Sally met Tom, because before him she really only cared about Mrs. Fields! Hellllloooo Weight Watchers!” That is NOT funny, that is MEAN. If you are struggling for tasteful humor, test out your toast on your Mom or someone else WITHOUT collegiate humor. If you see deadpan at any point in time, ditch the toast for something more thoughtful.

(3) Blasts from the past… Sometimes the past is better left buried under the carpet. We understand that you and the groom knew each other way back when he had no respect for women. We understand that he has grown up and has now decided to settle down and marry. There is unlikely to be one person in the room (including the groom-to-be) who will want to hear about his past exploits even if they come to a reasonably favorable ending – marrying his bride. So, if you want to ensure that you will be invited to their first Thanksgiving as a married couple, then focus on the happy times spent between you and the couple and what lies ahead for them.

(4) Remember who is wedding… the answer is not YOU so keep the focus on the happy couple.

(5) This is a happy occasion… not your dissertation, so remember to smile and speak from the heart. Whatever you do, DO NOT stand and read your toast. If that’s the case, it would be easier and more time efficient for you to go to Kinko’s make copies and pass it around – YUCK!

(6) Remember you are “toasting”… so have a drink in hand and at the end ask everyone to raise his or her glass for the happy couple. La’ Chaim!